u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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