do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
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