please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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