Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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