i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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