i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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