You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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