you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
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I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
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What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He shit in the fireplace
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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