Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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