I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
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You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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