I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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