I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm like, not good at living.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize