tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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