why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
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There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
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I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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