do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize