What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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