Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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