my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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