i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize