You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize