i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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