a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's blow job season.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize