so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize