i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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