Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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