cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize