She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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