He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
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I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
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Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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