I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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