I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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