Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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