I just pynch a tree in the face
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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