worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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