hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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