she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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