i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
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the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
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Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize