it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize