what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just cropdusted the office
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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