Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
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and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
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Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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