Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
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I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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