i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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