she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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