My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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