I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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