Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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