After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize