I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Two words: nipple clamps
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