The maid of honor just puked.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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