shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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