And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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